


Test Draft

by dreamscapehoran



Category: None - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-11-30 20:53:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11471493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamscapehoran/pseuds/dreamscapehoran





	1. Intro

The beauty that you hold,  
The melody that you sing—  
To the smile that you make

The epitome of beauty  
The lighthouse of my love—  
The living Aphrodite

 _I will love you—_  
To the extent of the Gods  
'Til the earth stops spinning  
When I'm as above as below


	2. 01

A concrete labyrinth. Warm winds, I love how the sun illuminates the philippine version of New York. As pretty as this thriving city, I'm all set up to go and pick up Belle. 

 

Belle, a french term for beautiful. Which she truly embodies. Her smile, her laugh and the way she presents herself. A true marvel made by the gods. 

"Anghelo! We're running late!" She shouted. 

"It's Ang-je-lo not Ang-he-lo." I explained.

"It's Ang-je-lo not Ang-he-lo bla bla bla my class starts at exactly 10AM." She said while trying keep her face ventilated by swinging her fan infront of her face. 

"I'm sorry your highness, your royal subject woke up late due to excessive studying seven hours prior to this moment." I joked. She closed her interfolded fan and pat my shoulder.

"Let's just go, I'm sweating." She said.

This has been our daily routine ever since college started and after eight months together as best friends, we still spend time with each other every morning. 

It was just like yesterday when I met Belle on the most unexpected time and on the most unexpected place. 

\- flashback -

Senior High. 

The last year that you get to spend with your high school peers. They call it "The last hurrah". 

In a typical public school scene, we have class cleaners. Ten students gets assigned on a day to clean the classroom in an alphabetical order. 

"Anghelo Mariano, Wednesday" the teacher proudly flaunts the names as if this was forced labor but it isn't a big deal for me. Cleaning won't hurt a single muscle.

After five months of senior high school drama and roleplaying it happened. Class ends at 6 o'clock in the evening, the school building looks scary when it's dark and empty.

I grabbed my soiled lab gown and tried to sweep a little of the mess that my peers made. I was alone, obviously because no one wanted to clean the room. Only Angelo Mariano, the neat freak. 

I was solemnly sweeping the floor while singing my favorite The 1975 song. I had the guts to sing because I knew I was alone. Right after cleaning, I looked out of the window and took a quick glance to check how dark is it outside.

"It sure is dark, they should start putting out light posts out there-" right before I finished my sentence, I heard a loud bang and the lights outside the hallway was turned off and I sort of panicked.

"C'mon Angelo go grab your stuff and leave this creepy ass building." I didn't turned the class lights off because it will be totally dark outside the hall.

"Why is my classroom far away from the stairs?" I asked myself. I'm on haste to go home in fear that I might see the ghosts that were made popular by the rumors floating around this school.

"Aaaaah." I high pitched feminine voice echoed through the hallway. I started running. Towards the stairs when a floating white object that looks like a long dress walked towards my direction.

"Don't kill me I'm a nice boy I cleaned my classroom!" I shouted. 

"Anghelo?" The girl covered in white cloth said.

"Isabel??" I said.

"Anghelo??" She said.

"It's An-je-lo, please say it properly." I snapped.

"Why are you still here?" She asked while trying to unbutton her lab gown to get her head out of the collar.

"What about you? Why are you still here??" I asked back.

"Hey, I asked first!" She said.

"I want your answer first." 

"I heard you scream like a girl you better start talking." She said. I felt threatened. 

"Are you blockmailing me?" I snapped back.

"Okay I'll tell the whole class, bye." I grabbed her shoulder to stop her before she walks away.

"Okay okay, I was cleaning the class…" I said.

"Were you scared?" She smirked. I don't think this is a good thing.

"No." I said.

"One more lie and I'll tell the whole batch." She's a spawn of evil I can really tell. 

"Yes I was scared, when the lights were switched off…I mean this building is terrifying after all…" I felt embarassed. 

"Case closed. Time to go home Gelo." She said.

"What about you? Answer my question! You just don't get to walk in a dark hallway wearing that lab gown without your head out without an explanation!" I said.

"Art club was done ten minutes after the class dismissal and I decided to try on my new lab gown then the lights was switched off.." She explained.

"And….you were screeching?" 

"That was not screeching at all! It was dark and I couldn't see a thing because my lab gown was stucked on my head and I hit the wall." She laughed.

"That was dumb." I laughed.

"Well at least I didn't freaked out." She said. "Let's go, before they lock us here in this terrifying building." She emphasized the word 'terrifying' and laughed.

And the next day we saw each other and she couldn't stop herself from laughing and so did I but no one exactly knew why we were laughing at each other. 

Ever since that day, we started going together durimg class breaks, started being friends and we started getting to know each other. 

Belle and I helped each other even though she's three isles away from where I was seated. We go to each other's homes to do our homework because we believed that things are better if we would team up to reach the top and it wasn't a disappointment. She finished with a cum laude and I finished with an honor.

That day, we felt so triumphant and waved our diplomas with glee. I never thought a woman like Belle would change me.

\- end of flashback -

"Anghelo! The train is about to leave! Are you daydreaming again?" She hands over the beep card and passed the security check. 

"Oh, yeah. I'm coming." I said. 

The train ride takes twenty minutes until we reach Taft Avenue and take a jeepney ride to Benilde. I love watching the train pass by a once was a grass land but now turned to a multi-colored concrete homes. During this time of the day, the train os usually half full, the heat is felt on selected train cabins where air ventilation is poor and we were on the one where the air feels humid and warm.

"Hey! It's hot." I grabbed her fan and started doing it for her. 

"I'm doing you a favor here queen.." I rolled my eyes. 

"More air royal fool! More air!" She laughed. I am a fool for you Belle, if you only knew. 

The train stopped at the station and we took a jeepney ride to our school. Different courses, different schedules. Her class starts an hour ahead of mine but I don't mind going to school early because I get to see her genuine smile and hear her laugh and that serves as my daily dose of my happy pill. It sounds cheesy but it's true. I wish I could talk to her forever but with given circumstances, I need to focus on my career too.

"I'll see you later An-jelly!" She hugged me and walked through the sea of crowd. 

I found myself staring blankly on the spot where we usually split ways. I wish I could tell her what I really feel. 

"Oy Gelo!" A tan-skinned Ivan Petersen approached me. 

"Yo Ivan! You had fun at the beach aye?" I slapped his shoulder.

"Ouch!" He flinched back.

"Sorry bro." I laughed.

"Made a move yet?" He smirked.

"Shh! Someone might hear you! Let's go." I said.

"Okay so, now what?" He asked.

"I don't know man. I don't think I can do it. I can't lose our friendship." I said. I'm worried about how things will turn out to be. I'm worried on how I will react on what will happen next. 

"What if someone asked her out?" He asked.

"I don't know actually. I just don't know how will I feel about it." I've been dodging that question. What if Belle starts dating someone? What would I feel? What will happen to me? 

I've put it into thought for the whole day, completely phased out in all of my classes, wondering how or what I can do about it. It seems hopeless but it's worth a shot. After all, I love her. What could be the worst case scenario?


	3. 02

I've been rolling over my bed for hours. I've been thinking about what Ivan asked me yesterday. Should I really tell her what I really feel? Is it necessary?

My thoughts are still clouded by facts like; one, I couldn't do it. Two, I'm too afraid. Three, I still couldn't do it. Well if this was a movie we'd be all happy because everyone loves a happy ending. Me and Belle together….Impossible.

"Gelo, Belle's here!" My mom opened the door revealing my messed up bed, untidy room and my ruined hair.

"Mom I told you to knock everytime-"

"It's just me why are you so cranky." Belle said. 

She sat on the edge of my bed and threw her bag on the floor. She opened it and brought out a paper bag with my name written on it.

"What's that?" I asked wondering what's inside the bag.

"Open it." She said. I opened the paper bag that was enclosed by three staple wires. 

"Oh my gosh Isabela." I jumped out of excitement when I saw a lunch box filled with her mom's special spaghetti.

There's nothing special about her mom's spaghetti but I swear that when I say it's good, it's beyond good. I remember the first time when her mom served a plate of spaghetti three days before Belle's birthday. The first time that I've felt goosebumps all over my body. It's so good that you'd want to have a whole wok of her mom's cooking.

"I guess you know what's about to come." She smiled.

"Isabela's birthday." I said. She looked at me disappointed and disgusted.

"18th Birthday, are you even my best friend??" She snapped. I remember, she was planning about her debut a month ago. 

"I'm sorry, I just got lost track…I didn't sleep well last night." She laid down on my bed, beside me. Her hair sprawled over the cream linen that covers my bed. The sweet scent of her shampoo never fails too impress me. 

"Why? Homework? Projects? Or were you thinking about someone else? Don't tell me there's someone else?" She asked.

"What the hell are you talking about?? I just had a nap and woke up and yeah…can't sleep again." I lied. If you only knew. 

"So…are you just gonna roll on your bed for the whole day and not attend class? Hello Anghelo it's a tuesday..." She said. "Look at your room, it looks far more worse than the war ruins during world war 2." 

"Meh…." I feel like I'm not in the mood to do anything.

"Don't just sit there, clean up your mess filthy ass." She said. 

"Don't just sit there, clean up your mess filthy ass." I mimicked her. She laughed and jumped on my back and started jumping. 

"You don't mess with Belle." She smirked.

"Stop…..I….can't…..brea-" I flipped over and grabbed her leg and pinned her down. Wrong move.

For the first time, I was inches away from her face. I can see how fine she is. How natural her skin looks, how red and supple her lips are and how her eyes made me fall inlove. 

I was over her and she was under. My mind was shouting "Kiss her!" But I can't even if I want to. I still have a lot of respect for her. Knowing how her past boyfriend ruined her. 

After that night happened she went running directly to my house. I was about to close the gate when she came through with her hands held tightly over her chest. She told me how she felt disgusted with herself. How she felt like she lost something that she has been taking care of even if it didn't happen.

I've witnessed her cry every night when her boyfriend tried to get into her pants. When she first mentioned it, my fists were clenched and I badly wanna beat up the shit out of that guy. 

It was long until she got over it but the immense trauma made her somehow hate men.

 

I sat down and looked at her. She looked shocked. 

"You can wait downstairs while I'm preparing, I think my mom cooked something." I said.

"About my debut…." She said. "I want you to be one of my roses." 

"Yeah sure." I said. "So where would it be?"

"You'll know when Papa's finished with the invitations." She said.

"C'mon Isabela, tell me." I persist. 

"I forgot the name of the place to be honest." She laughed. "But the place is spacious and cool." 

"So what should I wear?" I asked. 

"Wear something decent? I actually want you to be my escort." She said. I felt my cheeks warm up.

I was petrified by what she said. Never in my life that I expected her to pick me to escort her. I wasn't in one of her options when we were talking about her escort and her eighteen roses. 

"Yeah….sure." I smiled. "You better go now or you'll see me strip.." I joked.

"What the fuck Anghelo stop." She said.

She packed up her things and combed her hair before she left my room. I am still enthralled by the fact that I get to be by her side on her debut. 

I quickly rummaged closet in hunt for something to wear for school. I washed my face, styled my hair and bathed myself with my perfume.

"What took you so long?" She asked. Belle was obviously bored.

"Let's go, bye mom!" We left my house and took the train like what we usually do.

"Gelo." She whispered.

"What?" I replied.

"Do you know Chuck? From your class?" She asked.

"Yeah…but not that deep enough. More like an acquaintance?" I said.

"Well, I forgot to tell you actually. He's making a move on me-"

"Since when?!" I said. I didn't noticed that my vkice was loud, everyone inside the train was looking at me. "Sorry."

"Two weeks ago? I think…" She said.

"Do you like him?" I asked. Please say 'No'

"Well....he's cute….he's sweet….and I think he's smart." She said.

"Oh, okay." I said. That moment, I felt like my heart was shot and broke into millions of fragments. 

"I actually want to get to know him even deeper…" she said. "Can you help me? Please?" She pleads.

"Sure. Of course I will." I don't. I don't know if I can take it, seeing them together. No. 

"Yay! You're the bestest best friend ever!" She hugged me and she went out of the train bouncing in joy. 

For a moment I thought that I was dead. I feel like something inside me died. You know that feeling when you're patiently waiting for your favorite basketball player be called to be awarded as the MVP but your pick didn't get it? That feeling when you're walking on a pedestrian on a red light? 

The whole world just died. This is no personification nor metaphor. What figures of speech could ever describe the feeling of having false hope and wishful thinking? How can someone describe the feeling of wanting something on a department store but someone already bought it. I feel like a child crying for my stolen toy truck in the park. But I was too busy playing games that I forgot that I left something important on the playbox and now it's gone. 

Hurtful? Painful? What other words can romanticize the sensation of pain? I would've looked at the dictionary searching for more alliterations but the sun set too early on me today. 

I took her to my class and called Chuck to personally introduce her on my side. 

"Hey Chuck!" I called. 

"Hey!" He said. "Oh, hey Belle." He smiled revealing his charming smile. His resemblance makes an impression that he is an oriental man with a muscular build; bulk chest and broad shoulders. 

"Uhh…meet my best friend.…Belle.." I said. Chuck pulls out his hand for a shake and Belle took the offer. They both smiled at each other. I never felt so isolated ever before.

"Nice to meet you Chuck? Even though we've been chatting each other for two weeks?" She laughed.

"I-I gotta go to the mens room, pee emergency." I smiled. Belle nodded and I walked my way to the wash room.

From a distance, I took a glance to see what they're doing. 

They're laughing. I've never saw Belle's eyes sparkle like that before. She was obviously having a lot of fun. She never laughed like that when she was with me. 

And with that thought, my chest felt heavy and I decided to skip all my classes for today. 

I went back to class and grabbed my bag. She's still there.

"Gelo, where are you going?" Belle asked.

I continued walking my way out of the building choosing to ignore her. She was running towards my direction I'm going while shouting my name and my eyes failed to keep my emotions. My tears are falling.

I tried to wipe them as fast as I can because she was catching up. 

"Gelo, what's wrong?" She grabbed my hand and pulled me. "What's wrong? Why are you crying? Did something happen?" Her voice cracked. 

I covered my face and tried to break away from her grip. 

"Gelo! Answer me!" She said. Her voice was louder than before.

I tried to break away from her grip and I finally did. I ran as fast as I can and she was still chasing me. 

I took the tricycle that was beside me to cover more ground. For a moment, I expected her to still chase me and try to figure out what happened to me. I want her to show her care. I want her to comfort me.

I looked in the refection of the side mirror and I saw her hold her position while her image was slowly shrinking.


	4. 3 pt.I

In with what happened I was fueled to let it all go. 

Leave all the memories, delete the memories and forget the person. 

Oh it sounds easy but it's actually a struggle. Everwhere I go, there are a lot of things that reminds me of her. Everything I do, his name clouds up my mind. How is this kind of torture even possible?

Verdicts on me, In her side I guess it was easy. It wasn't worth something knowing that he doesn't know how badly affected I was to the point that everyday is a day to mourn. Everyday I asked the gods for you to give me a chance to show you I'm worth it.

Elsewhere, what I feel can't be deciphered nor depicted in any forms. How can I even start when I can't even cut my all my conections with you. I gave you time to figure out what I was feeling and what I needed but it felt more of a violent process because I couldn't control my emotions and blasted my mad bullets with you.

You're the reason why this happened but I know I couldn't blame you because I completely fell. I felt sad. I was very insecure. I lost myself in trying to guide you wherever you wanted to go. I forgot my emotions trying to make you smile. I felt really stupid blaming you when this was purely my fault fallung for you but how can I even deny how beautiful you are inside and out? 

Over days and nights, I couldn't focus with what I wanted to start with. The haunting started to creep in when I knew that it doesn't bother you that much. I felt useless, I felt like feeling this way was a waste. Feels like being hurt was unecessary but I love you and I forgot that this could happen. 

Unsaid and will remain unsaid. You will never understand because you never asked why or maybe you didn't know how this dreadful emotions are slowly consuming me one by one, until I lost my sanity.

Damaged. I never knew I was the collateral here and things will jeopardize eventually. The day came where we stopped talking. Where you stopped talking to me and that bothered me even more. I know I asked for it but you don't know how badly I wanted you to comfort me, to encourage me and hug me. 

Unexplained, and I would want this to be a mystery that'll remain lost forever. What's the use right? I know I'm over reacting but I swear, I felt ransacked. I feel like my heart was looted until it's very last piece. 

Many might say that I'm breaking down, yes I am. I didn't let anyone around me notice or actually see any traces of my emotional discourse. I was really going to the worst case scenario. Trust me when I say that death is calling me to come with her and I'm petrified. I never knew that a petty love shit would cause so much distress in my life. 

Before I completely lose it all, I left clues and cues. That I was hoping that she could figure out and found the message hidden in all of the things that I posted for her. I'm smart and I don't know if people would get me but I put on things too obvious but cover it with something else to make it look unreal. In all the clues that I left and hidden messages, would he still be able know the reason why I left? All the horrors and the demons in my mind bickering all over my self worth, questioning everything until I get so paranoid and refrain from showing my hideous face to the public. I lost it all I guess. My first killed me and will still burn me to ashes.


End file.
